There are things I’m against….

I am not prejudiced or anything against, you know, healthy eating. but isn’t there such a thing as unhealthy consumption?

For example when i was in school; tales abounded of girls from St. Joseph’s Nsambya having a certain tree in their school which grew “penises.” when they were ripe, they fell off the tree and and were promptly harvested by the denizens.

Of course this would have gone on unchecked until one girl’s “cooch” had a reaction to the damn things triggering a – well lets say, euphemistically, swelling. But you got to understand where this is coming from. I mean if the boys have holes in there mattresses, then let the girls harvest their pleasure.

Sadly a few years later the tree was cut down, and fortunately before my little kid sis joined the confounded place.

Now I once read somewhere that Carotene, the key benefit in carrots is a pigment and if you ate a small truck of carrots, your skin would turn orange.

No harm in that if you ask me, what i worry about is… isn’t there a law against reverse ingesting some of these things? For example consider Exhibit A:

Now you see my point. Ironically also, in my vast Spartan experience I’ve also found that its always the little, small, petite, midget, anorexic girls who want the bigger carrot!

Well, if you want to know, the big girls are dealing with enough as it is, bigger carrots would just aggravate the whole situation.

No.2 I generally don’t consider myself a prude or a profligate but some things should surely remain where they were meant to remain: INSIDE!

This just shows bad taste.

No.3 While we are on the subject:

Isn’t there some sort of rule against FAT women wearing thongs? I was recently talking to an ex and she, rather undisguisedly (like most exes are wont to do), mentioned that she never wore thongs or sexy lingerie when we were dating because I never inspired her to. In my mind I asked her so many questions: What?! How?!
So here was my response:

“Woman, if you don’t feel sexy enough to wear the damn thongs, fine, but to blame it on my inability to inspire you is just emotionally crippled. Because in the end great underwear reflects how you feel about yourself on the inside. If you feel constipated, closed off and suffocated then by all means go right ahead and let it reflect in your “grannies”. Just don’t blame it on a brother who wants some kinky shit! And by the way EVERY guy under the sun wants a woman in thongs. its the reason the leading designers of these things are gay men, not hetero women. Goes to show how much we are into this*ish.”

I thought about inserting that snide remark about how much I’d like some bondage but I figured exes don’t take that in good light.

PS: I’m not against bondage.Some at least.

One thought on “There are things I’m against….

  1. Lol! Your concern for your sister is touching.

    As a fat chick, I retain the right to wear a thong because I am still sexy.

    Conversations with exes…. hmmm.


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